Signing out

Sorry guys, if anyone actually reads this. I'm out, things are a bit too hard for me to take the time to write online at the moment. I wish you happiness and thanks for reading this. Take care guys, hope you all go well xx

Tuesday

Hey guys! I would like to firstly say a huge mulţumesc (thank you) to everyone who has sent me their well-wishes... I appreciate it HUGELY and I will get around to personally replying to all of them but just consider this the big generic thanks to everyone until I get time to do it properly!

I am expecting a call from mom really soon, and dad should be home in a couple hours, so at least I won't be alone anymore! Gosh darn it.

It was nice yesterday to talk to my bestest friend ever (Amber, yes, 'croissant-legs' Amber..hehe) who lives back in west Plano, TX, where I used to live back in the daze. I called her and she was very helpful in calming me. Te iubesc, Amber!

Anyway, to make this interesting AND to distract myself further last night, I took a photo of me trying to be cool. Here it is:

[note: I am still wearing the texas longhorns tee and mystery brand leggings. plus white socks]

Oh, have two:

I went to Cherry Creek Mall today for lunch and I took some photos of the tropical smoothie and sandwich I had. They were both very yummy. I'm slowly getting my eating back in order after these few rough days so all is well in that area!

I almost forgot to say! I tried to take a picture of my yummy oatmeal breakfast and guess what happened? Before I even got a chance to eat some I dropped the bowl. All. Over. The. Carpet. And my fingers. Which are still rather red and swollen from the burn. Do you know how hard it is to clean oatmeal from the carpet? And the shredded coconut that scattered everywhere too? If not, I hope it stays that way. It is rather frustrating to say the least. Let's just say, I went through almost a whole roll of paper towels. That is all.

Anyway thanks again to all those supporters out there in cyberland. You all rock! I will reply to you all properly soon, I promise. Have awesome days girlies/dudes! You are awesome =]

Gah

Ok reading my book didn't help. I'll post some pictures from yesterday like I was meant to last night and some I took today.

[this is my new book and my lemon crunch muffin from yesterday]

[my oatmeal from yesterday: 3/4c oats, banana, cinnamon, coconut on top. was desfătător!]

[this one is my outfit today. i am wearing a texas longhorns tee (vs pink) over a white tee (forever 21) and black leggings (not mine, emily's. no tag so mystery brand!) and uggs, of course]

Ok that took a good 30mins to get those uploaded. Didn't realize they were so gosh darn big! Thank you, photoshop.

I can't wait for dad to come home and for mom to call. I think I might give one of my friends back in west Plano a call... I feel rather odd in the quiet. I turned on the stereo to try cut it! Weird feeling i tell you.

ohmygod

i just listened to that IYAZ song down further on my page with the youtube and burst into tears. i know its about a girlfriend and boyfriend but... those lyrics. how appropriate for this situation right now.


or inappropriate.


either way.

i have to post to feel normal!

Okay so update time. My mom emailed me from the airport (yes, still in Denver!) and says she got a flight for about 2 hours from now. When she gets there she will try to call me or email me at the airport in Singapore. Dad is still at conference in Italy, mom rang him so he knows what's going on. He rang ME and said he can't leave until tomorrow afternoon (great, thanks dad) so he will be coming home early to keep me company. Until then I am still here alone, minding the house, stressing myself out.


This is my TWIN brother here. My other half. My god I am so so so worried for him. I have no idea how bad he is or anything! I have no idea! Is he in a coma? Is he fine?! I don't know and its KILLING me. If I have ever been a clock watcher it is now.


I'm trying to send him twin vibes but its not working yet. It used to... back when we were little.


I haven't turned to anorexia to help, although I WILL admit I probably haven't eaten QUITE as much as usual, but that's ok right? I do not plan on staying that way, it's just a stress thing. The important thing is that I am aware of it and will not let it it continue. I'm just letting myself have a couple stress days because, well. I am stressed.


I miss Texas right now. It's really cold here at the moment and I miss my friends. But I suppose that's what being alone will do huh?! Let you wander too deeply into your own mind!


Okay I better go now and do something else. My book arrived this morning so I will go read that and try to forget. I will likely write here again because, sadly it makes me feel like I'm talking to someone and not just here by myself!!!

Love you guys heaps. XO

=[

i'm at home by myself right now because something really bad happened. my brothers friend called us from singapore to say that my brother was hit by a car and is in hospital. my mom freaked big time and is now at the airport trying to get a flight as soon as she can, and my dad isn't here because hes in italy for this conference thing. so im here alone and rather stressed! if i dont post on cc or here for a while then thats why.


i wont let anorexia take hold dont worry. it is not a coping mechanism, and i know that.


hopefully i will speak to you guys soon, have your fingers crossed xxx

Splugh

I made a formspring just now... don't know how much of a good idea that was but Jemima's one had me intrigued so I gave in to my curiosity and went for it. We shall see how that goes! My name thing if you want to search for it is: immygin. I'll try put the link for it on my blog profile too just in case.

Nothing much is new per se, except for the trapeze class next Sunday! That shall be fun-eriffic to say the least. I hope. Are blog posts boring if they lack pictures? I'm terribly sorry if they are. I'll wait a few hours and upload some of my eats today to make it more appealing to the eye.

I have been making a conscious effort to keep this blog ED-free because, well, I just don't know how much people want to hear about such things. Although it is inevitible that at some point it will interfere with my thoughts and ramblings, you know, given that it is a large part of my life at present (working on it though!)

Well actually, in saying that there's one thing I have to write. So yesterday I measured my thighs (I know I know. It's just that before any weight loss started I had measured my thighs, just to see how much smaller they would get, and I never forgot that measurement and I was feeling ED-fat so wanted to "reassure myself" that my thighs were definitely smaller than when I started...*rolls eyes*) Please forgive me.

ANYWAY. So I measured them (each seperately) and my right thigh is an INCH bigger than my left! Wtf?! How does that even happen... I'm not freaking out about it, I'm just seriously bewildered. Surprized. I didn't even know that was possible. But I guess that's what you get when you screw around with your body for so long! Self-inflicted pain right thurr.

Okay so yep. I'll come back later and upload some cool pictures that I have taken on my phone and neglected to upload as of yet.

LOVE Immy

Next Sunday:

I am going to a flying trapeze class!

I am so excited.

I can't wait.

When Life Gives You Lemons..

So Imogen. What are the things you love?

Material things. Activities. Hobbies. Feelings. Anything you love.

Go...

Cheerleading with my old team in Texas! I miss them heaps.

Pink the color. My room is pink. I love it.

Kittens particularly MINE.

Dancing but only structured types like ballet or jazz routines... I suck at freestyling and refuse to do it in public unless slightly tipsy.

Singing in my car with the stereo blasting louder than my voice so I don't have to hear how crap I sound.

Mornings on days when I know I don't have anything stressful to do and I can simply... relax.

Finishing assignments and essays. Knowing it's finally OVER.

Oatmeal with new and delicious things mixed in. I never knew how great oatmeal was until this year.

Clothes especially new ones. But I'm not much into 'haute couture', you won't catch me reading Vogue I can tell you that.

Uggs in winter. I know. You either love em or hate em, and I happen to love em.

Laughing at old personal jokes with friends.

Television yes I am a TV-holic. I will admit it. Own it.

Seeing money in my bank account. Nothing beats that.

Meeting new friends!

Doodling randomly as I listen to something like music or a teacher. You should see my books from school...

[May I add that I also love the fact that I now understand HTML language thanks to my computer class... I feel like such a geek but hey. I can edit the HTML on this post when it spazzes out and understand what I'm doing. Geek me]

Insert Awesome Title Here

Yeah I'm posting again... because I'm cool. Why else? Because I have nothing else to do? Pshh.. yeah right! I got tons to do. Tons.

Actually I just gave my room a spring clean, and found my medals! All collected through years of a combination of: cheer, rhythmic gymnastics, artistic gymnastics, horse riding, figure skating, dance competitions, swimming competitions. Yeah. I had a busy childhood.

Wanna see a picture of em? Ok here ya go:

(Shinynesssssss)

Hmmmmmmm ok I'm bored again now. That was a moment of fun but it passed.

Mmkay I might leave this as a boring, self-centered post for now. Please to be reading my post below this one, I asked a VIQ (very important question) which MUST Be answered, posthaste.

Adieu

Duuuude

My feet are so cold right now! I'm debating what to do. I could watch TV, in fact I probably will end up doing just that. Or I could spend time on here, refreshing the page until I get a comment... nah. That would be pretty lame. I can't read a book because I am waiting on my new two to arrive in ze mailbox (can't wait!) so that's out. Sigh. Oh the life of an alienated girl! Not that I should complain, I mean I don't know how I'd handle it if my friend became anorexic either. I'd like to think I wouldn't desert her but what would I know? Maybe I would... it's hard to say without having it actually happen.

I mean before any eating disorder I didn't understand them at all. "Why don't they just EAT, it's not that hard...". Oh to be blissfully ignorant once more! "WTF is a calorie anyway?! Who even cares!" were once the words I spoke. Another time I texted a friend "LOL, you know that time you accidentally clicked the mousepad on your laptop with your stomach roll? I JUST DID IT NOW!". I wasn't overweight, I was the size you see in my profile picture. It was just harmlessly funny to have that happen. Our exploits to McDonald's after cheer practice were hilarious because we would become 'obese cheerleaders', which made us laugh and pretend to inhale our fries.

How I wish I could turn back time.

Anyway, that's all rather depressing isn't it. Onto something more fun I say!

Ok here goes: a poll for you guys out there in cyberspace.

Question: What did you used to love as a child?

(This could be like, anything. A sport, a toy, a movie, a tv show, a song, ANYTHING)

My answer: I used to LOVE the Powerpuff Girls. So. Much. I had literally 30 posters of em in my room, I collected this magazine of them which came with a free gift each time (like a skipping rope, erasers etc etc), I had (read: still have) 10 VHS videos of episodes (each one has about 5 episodes on it, I used to watch them religiously), I have 3 plush dolls of them (one each) and a few key rings and playsets from Toys R Us, two tees, a backpack, a foam wall decoration thing, two drinkbottles, about 3 books, some rub-on tattoos, one pencil, two pens, one notebook, endless stickers... Oh and I had a special birthday cake made for me with them on it made outta icing. I have a photo of I still I think... I might see if I can find it and post it on here! It was really cool.

There's my confession. Now your turn!

Two awesome videos for your viewing pleasure

I love this girl, she is SO adorable! I wish I could speak French....


And this one is a fave song of mine at present. LOVE the accent.

Howdy Y'alls!

Howdy y'alls! (yeah twice..why do something once if you can get away with doing it twice?)

Okayyy so today. Today today today. Saturday.

(on a side note: awww! Someone new posted on CC meal plans and did funny meal names like me! How sweet, I hope I was the inspiration for that)

I awoke early this morning. After a crappy sleep of approx. 4-5hours? 5 at BEST. Then I turned on my tv as usual (did I mention I love TV? Does that make me an insta-geek?) and watched 'Confessions of a Shopaholic'. Is it just me or is that movie kinda.. cringey? I WANT to like it. I try, I really do. But it always makes me cringe, just WISHING I could laugh at the jokes, or even crack a smile. Somehow I just can't, and it upsets me to the highest degree.

So after giving up on that, I watched Spongebob.

That's right. Spongebob Squarepants. I really love it (if I wasn't an insta-geek before... hello geek club, Imogen is here!). Me and my brother love it but he's away on aNOTHER holiday trip in like SouthEast Asia... Thailand and Singapore and all that stuff. Comes back from Europe and wants more... can you say, GREEDY?! Nah. I'm just jealous. I shouldn't be - jealousy doesn't suit my hair color. Although in saying that my eyes are already green so I guess jealousy can't change me MUCH more. Perhaps I was born jealous! Meant to be. ImogenBob JealousPants.

Ok I think this early-afternoon post shall do for now. I might (read: WILL) come back later this evening or EVEN later this AFTERNOON (lucky lucky youuuuuu) and post again with pictures. I am actually lazy and have not loaded any on yet. But I'll be baaack like Arnie Schwarzzenegger (and I can not spell it. Don't be hating) and post more!

My name is Imogen and I am a postaholic.

Insomnia Attax Imogen

Yep. Again. Can't sleep.

It's like I am worried about something. But what? Haven't a clue. Would love to know. So Imogen? If you ever find out, let me know. Ok. I will.
Promise.

Wouldn't it be awesome if we got everything we wanted? Although I don't really know how that would work. People would probably have conflicting wants. Like there would probably be 2million people that want to rule the world. How could they all rule the world? They couldn't. It just wouldn't work that way. People might want to kill someone, and the person they want to kill might want to live forever. Whose wants would be met and whose wouldn't? That's a tough one. I guess that just goes to show we can't have everything we want. Kinda depressing thought.... that's what happens to my brain when I get tired!

What would I want, if I could have everything I wanted? That's a good question. I guess firstly I'd want eating disorders and all other mental health disorders related to depression to NOT EXIST. Nobody deserves to suffer from depression or an eating disorder or bipolar disorder or ANY of those things. They are life-ruiners. Fun suckers. We don't have limitless time on earth, why should we be struck with such an illness that wastes so much precious time that could be spent smiling and happy? No reason.

Secondly I would want society to not have stereotypes of the 'perfect body'. None of that. I would like individuality to be appreciated instead of shunned. I want it to be cool to be different. I want it to be cool to look the way we look naturally. No make-up. No plastic surgery. No airbrushed magazines and billboards. People just being themselves, why not? Why is it so scary to go and be ourselves? It shouldn't be... it's our life. Our planet. Why are we scaring ourselves so much?

Thirdly I want there to be no wars. Peace. Why wars? Ok I know WHY, I'm not THAT deluded, but you know... when you really think about it. Why are they even necessary? Is it that hard for people to just get along, and accept the fact that other countries have different leadership ideals than ours? Different cultures? Religions? Traditions? Laws? So what? Deal with it and embrace it. Don't fight it.

Finally I would like there to be no such thing as drugs. No 'P', no ecstasy, no cocaine. It is another life-ruiner. It is not the fault of the people who get caught up in that crap. It's another addiction that gets the best of perfectly decent people and completely screws them up. Not fair.

Ok I think that's enough of Imogen-PhilosophyPants tonight. This morning. Whatever.

I'm OFF. Bed me. Now!

-LOVE, HUGS, PEACE. Immy

Ok I'm A Posting Addict Already

Have you tried the Jamba Juice oatmeal? I wanna try it. I can't believe I haven't already really. I guess like every time I think of it I think "ohh... tomorrow...."

~